Stupid Brain…

I’m the kind of person who will sit and let her brain do loopdee loop instead of being rational and balanced. Yesterday I had my first driving lesson in almost a year – with a new instructor too. I put it off for so long because I just couldn’t go through failing again. Here are some of the more irrational thoughts that went through my head before the lesson.

I’m a failure. I’ll never pass. Ever.
The driving instructor will laugh at my terrible driving.
I will crash and kill myself, the instructor and possibly a child or a small dog.
I will have a panic attack, crash and.. see above..
The driving instructor will be a murderer
The driving instructor will hate me

etc,etc…

Yes I am a crazy person.

In reality it went really well and I could possibly be driving in a few months. But the instructor did say something important, along with telling me to keep checking my mirrors – If I don’t believe I will pass, I wont.

If you look up self-fulfilling prophecy in the dictionary you will probably see my face. Well you won’t, but you should. So I’m planning on turning it around.

I will pass. I will pass. I will pass. I will pass. I will pass. I will pass. I will pass. I will pass. I will pass. I will pass. I will pass. I will pass. I will pass. I will pass. I will pass. I will pass. I will pass. I will pass. I will pass. I will pass. 

This is my new mantra.

But after this glorious high of realising I’m not a useless moron of course came the low. After a bit of a tantrum at the Mister (not actual Mr… although for future reference I wonder how he’d feel about Mr Washbrook…) my day went from good to bad to AWFUL.

I was just in such a bad mood I feel like I may have actually changed the weather, which was unfortunate because I spent the next half hour or so waiting at a bus stop for the bus that didn’t come. Cold was an understatement.

I got to work half hour late and grumbled my way through my shift. It wasn’t until I ranted at a colleague who asked how I was that I actually felt better. I feel like she’s used to me now so she just smiled and said, “Feel better now?”

By the time I got home everything was fine again. I realised I kinda slightly overreacted. Me and the Mister are all good and he hasn’t run off screaming into the sunset…

Phew… what a day.

If this picture doesn’t demonstrate my day.. I also wrote a poem.. because I’m a creative, artsy type of lady… What Goes Up…

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